batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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