i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize