just tell him i said nine months
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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