You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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