I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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