Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She bit a glass in half.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
