he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
