Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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