Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
