Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
