I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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