stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
