found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
