Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
