After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize