I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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