You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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