I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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