But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
