I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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