I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize