the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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