she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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