glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
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K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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