Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I need a beard to bite.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
