Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
