My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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