Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
