I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
