if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
