That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
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Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
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I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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