So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
