god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
