this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
