It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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