I want to stick my p in your. b.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
