Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
