you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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