I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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