I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize