Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i barfeds in our rink
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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