It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
