if you like me you must not know who I am
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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