uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
