cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Life is so much better after having sex.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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