like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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