so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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