I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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