No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
