i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize