Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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