Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
