Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
