You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
