I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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