tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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