It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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