Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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