i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
