she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
